Winter (Meetings) Hangover

I think I know how Twins General Manager Terry Ryan feels today. I remember those days.

You head to the party but you’re not really sure why… It’s colder than hell outside and you’ve gone to this party before and it’s always been boring. You know you’re just going to stand around and watch all the cool people hook up and then head home by yourself.

But this time it’s different. For some reason, people are talking to you… even members of the opposite sex. Maybe it’s the new fu manchu mustache or the new 8-track player in your orange Pontiac Ventura II.

You have a beer or three and even find yourself getting a little casual play with one of your ex-girlfriends and a couple of the regular older chicks who, frankly, will make out with anyone. As you head back to the keg, you allow yourself to think that maybe this party will be really different.

You get your beer-fueled courage up and flirt with a couple of the really hot girls, even though you know there’s no chance either of them are going home with you and, sure enough, as the night wears on, you see them leave the party with other guys.

By now, you’ve lost track of how many beers you’ve had and even started doing a few tequila shots.

Then you spot her… the girl you’ve been dating most recently. Just last week she gave you the, “maybe we should take a little break,” line. It hurt a bit, sure, but by now she’s looking pretty good. You definitely noticed earlier in the night when last year’s stud QB was hitting on her, but you noticed he left with another girl (two of them actually) a little while ago and now she’s just hanging around talking to a couple of geeks.

So, you figure, what the hell… and you walk up to her, slipping between her and one of the guys who have been chatting her up, and give her your best smile. Surprisingly, she smiles back (though, in retrospect, you’re not 100% sure she wasn’t really laughing at you).

You each have another drink or two and talk about some good times you’ve had together. It sure seems like maybe she’s ready to get back together. That’s when you make your move… and suggest you leave the party and head back to your place.

The next thing you remember, you’re laying in bed, head pounding, and the sound of some jerk’s snowblower is like a chainsaw slicing through your skull. You’re facing the wall and trying like hell to remember what happened after you made your move.

In fact, you’re almost afraid to roll over and find out because you’re not all that sure what you WANT to have happened. It would be nice to have your girlfriend back, but then again, you were more popular than usual last night and there were some hotter girls that seemed like they might be interested in you. Maybe with a little sober effort, you could get one of them… or you may be left with nobody at all.

Either way, you feel like crap and you promise yourself you’ll never party like that again… but you also know that’s a promise you’re going to break real soon.

Ah well… time to face the music, so you roll over to find out what kind of trouble you’re really in.

– JC


4 Replies to “Winter (Meetings) Hangover”

  1. I’m not real sure why Terry Cryan and Gardy wasted the Pohlad money to attend the Winter Meetings. Jim Pohlad sent along an empty wallet and told Terry Cryan to spend whatever was in it. A sad, sad organization that has decided to go into turtle mode. You reap what you sow. Twins might reap 70 wins in 2012.

  2. Just a little writer’s tool called allegory, jamar 🙂

    I have to admit I didn’t expect Terry Ryan’s winter meetings hangover to last this long. The longer it lasts before he finds out whether Cuddyer is going to re-sign, the less likely I believe it is. I’m starting to believe he feels much like Joe Nathan apparently did… that he really doesn’t want to return to the Twins.