Knuckleballs

People argue with me a LOT about the 1st Commandment – like booing is somehow the only way to express frustration with your team. However, especially when going through rebuilding times (we all know that is what the Twins are doing) there are just going to be daily disappointments.

But as the snow is coming down outside, I challenge our readers to not get hung up on a single Commandment – keep reading and see how it all fits together:

Continuing on yesterday’s introduction and Commandment #1, I would like to propose the following 2-4.

2. Thou shalt respect thy fellow fans.

Again, this is a fundamental principle on which the following commandments are based.  There are thousands of people here to watch a game and YOU are not the most important person there.  Be respectful of the people around you – don’t intrude on their space whenever possible – this includes your spilled beer, sunflower and peanut shells or whatever.  You can’t help that you are tall but be conscious that it will affect the eye line of people behind you.  People will adjust for it but if you keep moving?  That requires a LOT of adjustment.  Don’t have an extended cell phone conversation during the game while in your seat.  You can wait for the changeover and take the conversation to the concourse.  No, trying to find your buddy on the other side of park and standing and waving during an at bat is not acceptable.  Please consider that there is a time for everything.

 In addition, playing to the cameras with your signage is a great way to connect with someone at home whether you are at a home game or away!  However, if you are attempting to get the attention of said cameras by holding up your giant poster board during game play whether you are standing or sitting, you are asking to get hit in the back of the head with a beer – and that is a criminal waste of a good adult beverage.  Be aware of the activity on the field and restrain yourself.

3. Thou shalt not leave thy seat with a batter in the box

As a natural correlation to the 2^nd Commandment, active game play is the primary focus for those in attendance.  This means hitters waiting for a pitch or pitchers serving up a hitter.  There are two sides of your own team going on here.  If there is active game play going on, WAIT TO MOVE!  If your bladder is such that you can’t hold it until the change over, the polite thing to do is warn those around you that frequent exits might be necessary because you are infringing on their game experience – apologies are appropriate here.  If your bladder situation is caused by excessive consumption of alcohol, my general reaction is ‘life is hard, be a grownup.’  If it’s not for a potty break, I honestly don’t see anything short of medical emergency that requires you to move from that seat you paid for while your team is playing the game.  No, getting another beer is NOT a medical emergency. 

All of these activities can WAIT until a vendor comes to you or there is a changeover on the field (or one of those protracted mound discussions).  I would also like to point out that the corollary regarding to RETURNING to your seat also applies.  You know those people that stop you at the top from walking down the stairs until the current batter finishes. Why didn’t you take the hint?!?  Some of you have much better seats will have a long walk down to your seats and might not be able to do so in the time the next batter moves from the on deck circle to the batters box.  Please be aware of this and consider it in your start time!  You might want to simply wait by one of the TV’s until the changeover when you will have a greater length of time to move to your seat.  If a miscalculation occurs, then kindly lower yourself on the stairs and wait to move your ass down the seats until the batter is finished.  No, apologies are simply not adequate in this situation.  You chose to infringe on your neighbors with no good reason and I would not blame them for retaliating by spitting in your beer while you aren’t looking – not that they would if they were following the baseball game commandments but should you really expect a consideration from them that you are unwilling to do?

4. Thou shalt not do the wave

See above!!!!!  Just because YOU are bored at the game does not mean that the majority of others are.  They are trying to SEE the game and people randomly standing in front of them does NOT allow for respectful treatment of your fellow fans.  If you are worried about being bored, bring a friend and have a quiet conversation.  Heck, play a quiet game on your smart phone or something.  But please stay in your SEAT and do not deliberately choose to attempt to transfer the focus of the game to YOU.  Please realize that the wave is for football.  I sure as heck am not paying these ticket prices to see you.

Interestingly – I have discovered much of my dislike of the wave is PURELY because no matter where it is, it blocks my view of the action in front of me (I’m short). I still don’t like it at all but I am able to ignore it when I’m in the front row like at Swarm games! Funny how that works.

Yes, this is a re-release. No, I didn’t pull any George Lucas tricks or what have you to give it better effects and charge you more money – this will cost you the exact same price it did 3 years ago when I originally posted it:

Nada (unless it costs your pride a little to admit that you’ve broken a commandment or two).

Since the new season has started and since the boys are coming back to play here at home, I thought I would see how many people are in need of gentle reminders of how things would work If Babs Ran The Park. 😉 It came out in several installments due to the length and I decided to maintain that breakdown so here is Part 1 in all it’s original… um.. glory.

I have thought of doing this for literally YEARS.  In fact, KL and I have discussed the possibility that it would be a great marketing idea for the Metrodome to do Twins roster baseball cards with the players on the front and a commandment on the back!  Yeah, we aren’t in the Dome anymore so we thought, “what a great way to kick off a new park – make sure people know how to behave…”   That doesn’t seem to be a focus for the facility folk at this point.  They might have a few other things that are more important to think about though.  And then the girls over at Babes Love Baseball did a post on baseball etiquette.  They are nice girls and really presented a way to make everyone’s overall ballpark experience more pleasant.

 Let’s be honest here.  I’m not that “nice”.  I mean it.  I’m regularly tempted to slap someone at each and every baseball game I attend.  (I don’t because that would break several commandments)  But as one fan to another, seriously, there are things you should know!!!  I’ll get lots of arguments from people who LIKE to break certain commandments.  You know who you are.  You know deep in your baseball heart that you are going to a place that others wouldn’t – all our actions are choices at that point.  But know that we know that you know!

Baseball Game 10 Commandments

1. Thou shalt respect thy team.

I’m a firm believer in the concept of ‘praise in public, criticize in private’ although I will admit that even I occasionally get caught up in a moment involving a little brother.  Still…

The first and foremost commandment is Respect Your Team!!  You are there to see baseball with hopefully a large number of others.  This is a privilege!  Privileges can be lost when they are not earned.  All other commandments stem from this concept.  Pay attention to the game.  Cheer your team’s players – even if you do not particularly like that one guy.  DO NOT BOO YOUR OWN TEAM.  Leave that for the fans of the visiting team.  If you must comment on the particular failings of a player – and we all have them – bring someone to the game with you to share that with in a quiet conversation.  The general public doesn’t care about your opinion.  If you REALLY think the general public needs to know something that only you know, there are innumerable blogs, twitter, Facebook or wherever with which to do so.

This turned out to be an IMMENSE post so I divided it into parts for better absorbtion.  Please, watch for the continuing installments and contribute your thoughts!