We’ve got a really good group of regular readers and we have a good time (usually) hanging out together during Twins games in our regular GameChats. One of them, Kirsten, made the mistake of agreeing to do some guest posting. She tells us that Eric gets the credit for the idea behind this post. Apparently either Eric or Kirsten (or both) had a little bit too much to drink and decided these two gentlemen are, in fact, the same person:
Dear Santa Bill Smith,
I’ve been a pretty good fan this season. I have tried to be patient and stay focused on the positives, but alas, I’m only human, and could not pass up the opportunity to make my demands… ahem… requests known. I’m a good baker, so if you bring me these things, I’ll make you approximately one metric ton of cookies.
1.) Bullpen help: people whined about Guerrier a lot, but I sure do miss being able to put him on the mound every day for 2-3 innings and feel reasonably good about it. Rauch was pretty good for my confidence too. Now I find myself begging the Baseball Gods to let the starting pitchers pitch forever…. even when they suck. Swear to God, Joe Nathan makes me as twitchy as he is when he pitches.
2.) Harry Potter injury healing: I never really read the books, but from what I understand, you can drink something and it makes your bones heal! Sounds like you need to come up with some of that magic, stat.
3.) President Pelton’s Weather Machine: at my Alma mater, the President of the University had a weather machine that he busted out for all important events. This weather machine was so powerful that it could even make the sun appear on demand in Oregon. He has left the university, so now’s your chance to snag it!
4.) More fun promotions: I’m not a huge Mauer fan, but my friends and I got a lot of prank mileage out of Joe Mauer Sideburn Night. An alternative suggestion might be food specials or letting the fans pick the walk up music for the players for a game. If nothing else, we’d rip each other to shreds about something harmless instead of personal matters.
With warmest regards,
Kirsten
P.S. If you thought I was going to ask for something else, shame on you.
What do you guys think? What would you ask Santa Bill Smith for?
Naturally, the first thing I would ask from Santa Smith is to have the Twins lift the blackout cloud they’ve continue to drape over the entire state of Iowa so I can actually watch a few games over the internet, at least.
There are probably a few guys I would ask him to provide a bit of heart, courage and brains to, as well… but that would take this topic down more of a “Wizard of Oz” path (or rather yellow brick road).
Santa spelled with just a few inversions is Satan. Just sayin’.
Hm, JC, I do believe you have just inspired my next post.
Aw-How right you are, though I try to avoid bringing any more lightning bolts down on my head…I have more than enough to dodge already.