Continuing in our series hoping to improve the baseball experience for everyone, here are Commandments 5-7!
5. Thou shalt not STOP in the pathway.
This is one of those things that can happen “accidentally” more than anything else. But as you learn to be more aware of others while at the baseball game, hopefully, you will understand why this is such a difficulty. After all, there are fellow fans doing their darnedest to get to their seats before players take the field! Please, do not stop at the top or bottom of a stairwell while you try to figure out (or remember) where you are going. God forbid you would actually stop in the MIDDLE of the stairwell. Understand that the general flow of traffic is much like the streets you drove on to get to the ballpark. Stay to the right and merge gradually if you need to get to the left – which might mean planning ahead a little bit. STOPPING to turn into oncoming traffic where it’s unexpected is a good way to get run into – from both directions. This is just plain DANGEROUS not to mention disrespectful to the other fans you put in harm’s way. Stairwells are a limited and crowded pathway already, so please be kind and move out of the flow of traffic if you have to consult regarding your destination or if you need to wait for someone.
There is a notable exception to this commandment that was previously noted in #3. If you are going to your seat and a batter comes up to bat, it is appropriate to stop and sit or kneel in the stairway. Obviously, other fans who are paying attention will do the same thing as they wait for appropriate travel times. Those who are NOT paying attention probably need the reminder of pausing to wait for you to become aware of their circumstances – just use caution and know your surroundings.
6. Thou shalt not scream, “throw it back!”
This is perhaps the dumbest thing you could do at the ballpark – unless you are in Wrigley Field and btw Cubs fans, I have a bone to pick with you. For one, going to the ball park is not an everyday occurrence for all the fans in the park with you. For some fans just being in the ballpark is a special occasion. And that means that catching ANY homerun ball – even from the opposing team – could be a once in a lifetime experience. Should you choose throw such an achievement back on to the field of play, a) you’re really not thinking about how to best use your opportunities and b) you’re not being respectful of the players on the field or the security and officials who now have to WAIT for you to be done with your moment of mental failure.
But for the fans that brought their gloves to the game and sat in the outfield, I can guarantee that they weren’t hoping for a foul ball. So let’s leave the peer pressure routine in Jr. High shall we and allow other fans the personal choice to pass that Homerun ball to the four year old kid they brought with them to the game or whatever their options are and shut your trap.
7. Thou shalt leave the beach ball at home!
It’s all in the name folks. It’s a BEACH BALL. So what could be even less respectful of the other fans at the park (breaking #2) than getting so bored, you do the Wave (breaking #4)??? The answer is bringing a beach ball to the game (or horror of all horrors, dozens of them), inflating them and choosing to toss them down onto the unsuspecting attendees in the lower rows.
What on earth went through your mind as you packed the car to go the game? “I don’t think getting drunk and screaming obscenities is nearly rude enough so I think I will come supplied with things I can throw at people – maybe I’ll even get lucky and it fall on the field and disrupt the game!!!”
Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds? That is what every other fan on the field thinks about you if you fall into this ridiculous fashion trend. It’s kind of sad to have to say this but it falls under a common-sense category. If it is something your mother would scold you for doing in the car when you were 8 (or should have), please don’t do it at the ball park.
Whew… I think we may have finally hit on some commandments I haven’t already violated! Maybe there’s hope for my baseball soul, yet!
I never understood why anyone would want to bring a beach ball to a ball game
Capitalbabs,
Historically, there have always been nuisances at the old ballgame. At one time, female fans used to wear Merry Widow hats which would take up about as much viewing space as a huge pumpkin.
I was attracted to your site by the 10 Commandments pitch. My company has published a book called The 10 Commandments of Baseball – it discusses and illustrates the original 10 Commandments of Baseball written by legendary manager, Joe McCarthy. If you would like to review it for your readers (makes a great Father’s Day present) let me know and I’ll send you one. Meanwhile, if you readers are interested in getting a copy of the Commandments themselves, I have them printed on a book mark that I’d be happy to send them since it doubles as an add for my book. To get one all they have to do is register at my site. I am a small publisher (three books thus far) so they are not going to get inundated with email after they sign up.
Larry, that sounds fantastic! We’ve planned on doing several book reviews here on this site and I think that would fit right in. Obviously, the basic concept appeals to me. *grin* I’ll email you with contact information.
Regarding No. 6; not only would I not throw it back I wouldn’t give it to a kid, either. I have been waiting to catch a home run or even a foul ball at a game since I was 6 years old and came down to the Twin Cities for our annual trek to see the Twins at the Met. The closest I have come to getting a foul was at the Dome. A ball flew up in the air and landed in my seat….
.while I was out having a cigarette.
Kids, just another reason not to start smoking.
I’m with you, Mike. The closest I’ve gotten was a few years ago. My dad was in a wheelchair temporarily and my brother and his family were visiting from Alaska, and our family of eight were in the upper deck between home and 1st (closer to home, if I recall correctly). There was one seat next to Dad, then the rest of us were in the row behind him. Dad was mostly sitting forward for the game, and his wheelchair actually caught a foul ball. I was a little heartbroken when my dad handed the ball to my brother.
A second one landed right in front of my dad, but he wasn’t able to grab it before it rolled away and someone else got it (I was sitting in the row behind him at the time, so couldn’t get to it either).
Larry & Babs,
I’d love to be part of any future book review team. I’m part of LibraryThing’s Early Reviewer program and have reviewed a couple of baseball books: one on Baseball and Philosophy and another called Your Brain on Cubs. The reviews are on LT and sometimes on my blog.
I haven’t cataloged all my baseball books, but you can see some of them at:
http://www.librarything.com/catalog/gocubsgo&deepsearch=baseball
Larry, I’d love a bookmark . . . will wander over to your site now . . .