Continuing on yesterday’s introduction and Commandment #1, I would like to propose the following 2-4.
2. Thou shalt respect thy fellow fans.
Again, this is a fundamental principle on which the following commandments are based. There are thousands of people here to watch a game and YOU are not the most important person there. Be respectful of the people around you – don’t intrude on their space whenever possible – this includes your spilled beer, sunflower and peanut shells or whatever. You can’t help that you are tall but be conscious that it will affect the eye line of people behind you. People will adjust for it but if you keep moving? That requires a LOT of adjustment. Don’t have an extended cell phone conversation during the game while in your seat. You can wait for the changeover and take the conversation to the concourse. No, trying to find your buddy on the other side of park and standing and waving during an at bat is not acceptable. Please consider that there is a time for everything.
In addition, playing to the cameras with your signage is a great way to connect with someone at home whether you are at a home game or away! However, if you are attempting to get the attention of said cameras by holding up your giant poster board during game play whether you are standing or sitting, you are asking to get hit in the back of the head with a beer – and that is a criminal waste of a good adult beverage. Be aware of the activity on the field and restrain yourself.
3. Thou shalt not leave thy seat with a batter in the box
As a natural correlation to the 2nd Commandment, active game play is the primary focus for those in attendance. This means hitters waiting for a pitch or pitchers serving up a hitter. There are two sides of your own team going on here. If there is active game play going on, WAIT TO MOVE! If your bladder is such that you can’t hold it until the change over, the polite thing to do is warn those around you that frequent exits might be necessary because you are infringing on their game experience – apologies are appropriate here. If your bladder situation is caused by excessive consumption of alcohol, my general reaction is ‘life is hard, be a grownup.’ If it’s not for a potty break, I honestly don’t see anything short of medical emergency that requires you to move from that seat you paid for while your team is playing the game. No, getting another beer is NOT a medical emergency.
All of these activities can WAIT until a vendor comes to you or there is a changeover on the field (or one of those protracted mound discussions). I would also like to point out that the corollary regarding to RETURNING to your seat also applies. You know those people that stop you at the top from walking down the stairs until the current batter finishes. Why didn’t you take the hint?!? Some of you have much better seats will have a long walk down to your seats and might not be able to do so in the time the next batter moves from the on deck circle to the batters box. Please be aware of this and consider it in your start time! You might want to simply wait by one of the TV’s until the changeover when you will have a greater length of time to move to your seat. If a miscalculation occurs, then kindly lower yourself on the stairs and wait to move your ass down the seats until the batter is finished. No, apologies are simply not adequate in this situation. You chose to infringe on your neighbors with no good reason and I would not blame them for retaliating by spitting in your beer while you aren’t looking – not that they would if they were following the baseball game commandments but should you really expect a consideration from them that you are unwilling to do?
4. Thou shalt not do the wave
See above!!!!! Just because YOU are bored at the game does not mean that the majority of others are. They are trying to SEE the game and people randomly standing in front of them does NOT allow for respectful treatment of your fellow fans. If you are worried about being bored, bring a friend and have a quiet conversation. Heck, play a quiet game on your smart phone or something. But please stay in your SEAT and do not deliberately choose to attempt to transfer the focus of the game to YOU. Please realize that the wave is for football. I sure as heck am not paying these ticket prices to see you.